Reading stories online about siblings fighting over inheritance often makes me feel sad for those involved. I want to share my own experience and perhaps offer one perspective on handling situations like this.
My parents had a daughter, followed by two sons and another daughter. The eldest married early and moved in with her husband, leaving my father, mother, older brother, younger sister, and me at home. Back then, we were poor, though we were fortunate to still have about five hectares of farmland. My younger sister and I were still in school and could not contribute much, so our parents and older brother handled most of the laboring.
My father was diagnosed with cancer when I was in high school. We had to sell about two hectares of land to afford his treatment, but he passed away after a year. My mother’s health began to decline soon after. At the time, my older brother was married with children and still living with us.
After my father’s passing, my mother held a family meeting to discuss inheritance. She told my brother and his wife: “Now that I am old and weak, focus on working hard and helping your younger siblings with their education. The land all belong to you and your wife in the future.”
From then on, my younger sister and I resolved to study hard and support ourselves. My older brother and sister provided just enough for us to complete college in HCMC and start our careers.
Starting in my sophomore year, I worked part-time to cover tuition and living expenses so my siblings no longer needed to support me. My younger sister attended a college for teachers, which offered some financial assistance and was close to home, keeping her costs manageable. Back in our hometown, my mother helped care for my older brother’s children and prepared meals.
Eventually, my sister and I graduated. I stayed in the city to work, visiting home only once or twice a year, while my sister returned home to teach.
Nineteen years have passed since then, and I have lived in various parts of HCMC and taken on all kinds of jobs. About a decade ago, I started my own business. Today, I own two houses and a car, and can fully support my wife and children. My younger sister also got married in our hometown and has her own house. While her teaching salary is modest, she supplements her income by tutoring English, making just enough to live comfortably.
Though our mother’s arrangement was only verbal, my sister and I never demanded a share from our brother, and our family has remained united. All four of us now have our own families. Some are wealthier than others, but overall, we lead stable, comfortable lives. Our mother still lives with my brother in the countryside but occasionally visits me, especially when she needs treatment in the city.
Helping one another along the way is how our family has avoided disputes. Only parents truly understand their children, and I believe that how they distribute inheritance is their choice, one that should not be judged by outsiders.
It is not because I live comfortably that I am indifferent about inheritance. I was unemployed and poor right after graduating college, moving from one rental to another, yet I never once thought about claiming the property in our hometown. I simply believed that in a family, older siblings often sacrifice a lot, taking on responsibilities for younger siblings and getting pampered less. My brother had to leave school early to help our parents earn a living and ensure I could focus on studying. So, I do not think it was wrong for our parents to leave him all the inheritance.
The most important point is that our parents were always clear about their intentions and explained them carefully so that all of us understood and agreed. I believe that well-raised children will never feel the need to demand “fairness” when it comes to inheritance.
*The opinion was translated into English with the assistance of AI. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.
