My uncle’s wife passed away many years ago. He lives in the countryside, spending his days gardening and raising chickens and ducks and socializing with people his age in the village.
Raising three children alone had been the most stressful years of his life. But they eventually grew and moved to the city to study and work, eventually settling there to secure stable jobs.
A decade has passed since the youngest son secured a stable job and all four of them are now living comfortably thanks to one principle: always be clear and transparent when it comes to money.
When my uncle realized his health was declining, he announced that he would leave each child VND500 million. The sons, however, chose not to treat it as a gift and instead made it into a loan for their business ventures.
No paperwork was involved, but the brothers treat the deal as a serious obligation and consistently pay VND5 million to their father every month as interest. For an elderly man living in the countryside, this was more than enough to live without much worry.
Many might see this approach as “unemotional” or “too strict,” but in my view, it allows parents to maintain financial independence, especially when they have no other financial support, all while letting children capitalize on family assets.
In many Vietnamese families, money is considered a sensitive topic. Parents usually give without demands and children rarely discuss repayment.
However, this reluctance to talk about finances often causes misunderstandings, conflicts or even family breakdowns. Children assume parents are obliged to support them while parents quietly shoulder the burden, only to feel hurt and exhausted when their efforts go unrecognized.
Not every family can adopt this model, but it illustrates two important lessons. First, parents should have their own resources for retirement and avoid exhausting themselves for their children.
Second, children should not rely on parents’ assets. If they do, there should be an agreement to pay a monthly “interest.” This way, children are encouraged to give back to their parents, whether out of obligations or filial affection.
*This opinion was submitted by a reader. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.
