My parents, both in their 60s, currently live on a plot of land measuring over 100 square meters, valued at around VND12 billion. Their health is declining and they have recently been talking about passing down their assets to me and my siblings. I am their only son. I got married a year ago, have a stable job, and my wife and I are renting a small place on our own.
When I brought up the idea of them giving us a portion of the land lot so we could build a house nearby, they were reluctant and would not give me a straight answer.
My mother responded vaguely: “We are thinking about it, but if we transfer it now, what if something happens between you two later?”
I asked her to clarify, but she only sighed and told me a story of someone she knew.
“Remember our next-door neighbor? She gave her son VND3 billion to buy a house and, a year later, her daughter-in-law wanted a divorce and demanded to sell the property and split the money.”
Then the real reason for their hesitation dawned on me — they were afraid my wife might end up owning part of the land. It was someone else’s story, yet it had made them question the strength of my marriage.
I get where they are coming from. They grew up in a time when daughters-in-law were expected to endure hardship to earn their place in their husband’s family and had no say in family property. But times have changed. Marriage today is an equal partnership. A family cannot stand strong unless husband and wife share their responsibilities, both emotionally and financially.
My wife is not perfect, but she is decent, educated, and has a stable job. We have been saving for years, living in a cramped rental just to put money aside for a home. If we ever manage to buy one together, I would feel ashamed to put only my name on the house while she is left out “because she is not family.”
I told my mother, “If you treat your daughter-in-law like an outsider, she will eventually treat you the same way. Why would anyone be fully committed to a family that keeps her out of every big decision?”
I believe there are all kinds of people in this world — good and bad, selfish and sincere. There are cases where daughters-in-law take advantage of their husbands and demand a share of assets after divorce, but not everyone is like that. There are still many who are kind, sincere, and genuinely care about their in-laws. I believe that when a family treats their daughter-in-law with trust and respect, most will respond in kind.
Instead of clinging to their land out of fear that it might be taken, why not walk alongside their children, give them peace of mind, and encourage them to build and protect their home together?
A woman who is trusted by her husband’s family and not made to feel like a threat just for having her name on a title deed will feel respected and appreciated. And that will make her want to love and stay with her in-laws.
All that my wife and I are asking for is a foundation to build our future. I truly believe that when you give with sincerity, it will be returned with gratitude and genuine care.
*The opinion was translated into English with the assistance of AI. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.
