Migrant workers may struggle with the pressure to send money home. Illustration photo by Pexels
I send money back to my mother every month for safekeeping, but I could not get my own money back when I needed it.
As a young woman working far away from home, I see the money I send each month as a way to take care of my family despite not being physically there. My mother once told me she would keep it safe and give it back whenever I needed it.
A while ago, when I was in urgent need of cash, I asked her for a part of the money I had previously sent home. But what seemed like a simple request quickly turned into an argument. My mother refused, and after some back-and-forth, the situation became tense. In the end, I could not even borrow my own money.
Since then, I have been troubled by that incident. I work, cover my own living expenses and handle any payments that arise. Should I find myself struggling, I would have to borrow money elsewhere at high interest rates because the money I sent home is not available. This put me in a very difficult position.
There have been times when I wanted to temporarily stop sending money home so I could save for myself. But every time I brought it up with my mother, the conversation turned sour as she would compare me to “other people’s children” and call me unfilial and thoughtless. Sometimes, she would say even harsher things, such as threatening to cut ties with me. We could barely speak for more than a few sentences whenever this topic came up.
I feel truly conflicted. On one hand, I want to work toward financial independence and build a safety net so I do not end up in desperate situations. On the other hand, I feel pressure to be a “good daughter,” along with the fear of upsetting my mother and being seen as cold and ungrateful.
I do not think wanting to keep the money I earn for my own security is wrong. But I have not found a way to communicate this to my mother without it turning into an argument. I also wonder whether staying silent and quietly stopping the monthly transfers would ease the tension or only widen the rift between us.
How can I maintain my relationship with my family without putting myself into financial trouble?
*This opinion was submitted by a reader and translated into English. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.
