As a daughter-in-law, I always wanted to build a happy relationship with my husband’s family. So, when they faced problems, I encouraged my husband to help, no matter the inconvenience to us.
When one of his older brothers had an accident, I gave my husband VND28 million (US$1,100) and suggested he take two weeks off work to care for him, despite being sick in the hospital with our child.
His second older brother repeatedly borrowed money from us, and we helped as much as we could, even giving away my wedding gold. In the end, he repaid only a portion of what he borrowed without any explanation.
For years, I managed the household alone while my husband focused on work. I cared for my sick parents-in-law and children until I was completely exhausted. When I reached out to my husband’s siblings for help, none of them offered assistance. Over time, I realized we had no real bond. Now, when they visit, I greet them briefly and avoid further interaction.
I was very close to my father-in-law. In his final days, despite his pain, he always greeted me warmly. I took care of his meals, sleep, and daily routine, giving him all the love and care I could.
In 2016, when the family house was in poor condition, I insisted on building a new one for my parents-in-law on the same plot of land. With help from my family, we managed to build a new house. But my husband’s second older brother accused us of using their parents’ money, claiming, “You can’t possibly afford to build this house. Did you steal from my parents?”
My father-in-law wanted my husband and I to stay on the family land to care for the ancestral altar and family traditions. He saw the house as a place for everyone to return to when needed. But he passed away in 2019 without a will, only verbally promising us the family land.
My husband’s siblings soon challenged this, even threatening legal action. The eldest sister accused me of manipulating my father-in-law into transferring the property to us. They sought every way to get ownership of the house, even though none of them ever showed interest in maintaining the family home or traditions. They rarely visited or brought meaningful gifts for their parents.
I tried to resolve these conflicts peacefully, agreeing that everyone had a share in the land, even though it was not worth much. However, my in-laws continued to make unreasonable demands, including forcing us to live in the old house. The eldest sister locked up the new house and told us we could only use it when any of the siblings visited.
“You must know your place. As the youngest, you should accept your role and be obedient,” she said.
Now, we cannot live in our own home without feeling like unwelcome guests. What I seek most is not even legal ownership of the land—just the minimal respect from my in-laws.
What should my husband and I do?
*This opinion was translated into English with the assistance of AI. Readers’ views are personal and do not necessarily match VnExpress’ viewpoints.
